Have Laptop Will Travel

Dude! Where’s my car?

Originally posted on November 7, 2002 @ 9:15 am

So this morning, heading into work, I make my morning stop at a local donut shop… go inside, place my order for a glazed twist and a large milk… then the lady behind the counter proceeds to say “and then…”

So not realizing what just happened, because of major lack of sleep last night, I say “that’s it, thanks” and the lady again says to me “and then…”

Now realizing that I’m trapped in a bad movie, I say to the crazy lady “no and then!”… no joke, she says to me with a straight face “and then…” so I put a five dollar bill down on the counter, which is more than double what my bill should be, I walk out of the donut shop laughing to myself. As I’m walking out the door, I hear a womens voice from behind me saying “thank you”.

AH!!! NO AND THEN!!!!!

The technology behind Google’s great results

Originally posted on April 1, 2002 @ 3:20 am

As a Google user, you’re familiar with the speed and accuracy of a Google search. How exactly does Google manage to find the right results for every query as quickly as it does? The heart of Google’s search technology is PigeonRank™, a system for ranking web pages developed by Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin at Stanford University.

PigeonRank

Building upon the breakthrough work of B. F. Skinner, Page and Brin reasoned that low cost pigeon clusters (PCs) could be used to compute the relative value of web pages faster than human editors or machine-based algorithms. And while Google has dozens of engineers working to improve every aspect of our service on a daily basis, PigeonRank continues to provide the basis for all of our web search tools.

Find out more…

Google Releases MentalPlex

Originally posted on April 1, 2000 @ 6:47 am

Unlike regular search engines that require you to type a query to conduct a search, MentalPlex search anticipates your request by evaluating over 1.3 billion variables including:

  • the last 5 sites you visited before coming to Google
  • current air pressure, humidity and ozone content
  • astrological configuration at the time of your visit
  • speed and vectors of your mouse movement
  • personal aura and brainwave activity

Using proprietary predictive search algorithms developed through 13 years of research by an international consortium of PhDs in the fields of artificial and pseudo-intelligence, parapsychology and improbability, MentalPlex is the only search engine that accurately returns results without requiring you enter a query. Google’s CEO and co-founder Larry Page calls MentalPlex “a quantum leap in finding what you are looking for on the Internet. Typing in queries is so 1999.”

Find out more…